February 24, 2007

Courage under Fire

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
-Lao Tzu, philosopher

I have reflected on this quote over the last two months, and on my outlook on close relationships. I learned about love via being the recipient of unconditional love from my family. Their love made me feel as if I were the most important person in their eyes, and gave me the strength to take risks in discovering my authentic self. Their love has taught me to love others without expectation or reservation, to create a safe space for my friends and lovers to express their authentic spirits. I pride myself in having few close friends, and many acquaintances. I am not somebody who views relationships as disposable--they have invaluable value, providing they are genuine. I make the conscious choice to eliminate unhealthy or toxic relationships from my life--there is no room in my world for negative energy. I treasure my relationships with others, despite seeing many friendships and partnerships subjected to neglect or being taken for granted.

An old acquaintance once told me that he would do anything for his friends, yet when that opportunity came, he turned his back; perhaps because he didn't understand what his friend was going through or perhaps because he didn't want to deal with someone else's issues. He obviously did not recognize his hypocrisy when he distanced himself instead of extending a hand. I too believe I would do anything for my friends, except my history has shown that I walk the walk, sacrificing personal integrity to protect those I consider dear to my heart. I am saddened and disappointed with lip service from people who profess to have insight into the psyche of human beings, and in the same breath, are capable of turning their back.

It takes courage to walk the walk while willingly accepting the consequences.

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